A wicked-smart mother-mentor of mine once remarked how "Everything is a phase."
This has been more than a platitude for us, as we try to be conscious and present about how our life is right this moment with our two children. Things change so quickly. We get it. If we're in a tough phase where things are hard because someone's teething or frustrated or has certain fixations or needs, we remind each other that it will pass. If we're in an easy phase -- made recognizable by comparing to those rough patches, of course -- then we pay attention to the harmony and simplicity that comes with finally sleeping through two night in a row or going without the binky for a spell or happily eating everything on their plate, or something marvelous like that.
We just had a phase change the other day that I want to recognize: We took down the baby gates.
We all now have much more freedom of movement through the house, and there's less clutter in the house. The gates were left open 24/7 lately, and closing them caused more problems than it prevented. Our two-year old is mobile and adept and doesn't want or need to be left in one space without access to the rest of the people (it's not about access to stuff, it's about where her family members are). Sure, it was sometimes convenient to corral her in one room, but it was awful if she was left in that room alone while everyone else had made it to the other side.
The gates have been up in our house for almost 4.5 years, with a brief break in between children. After a few days now, the carpet is recovering from the dents, the children have finally stopped talking about where the gates went, and we parents are starting to realize we don't have to maneuver around something in the dark that isn't really there anymore.
And we are taking note of the phase change with relief and maybe just a little wistfulness.
Next up: All those plastic sippy cups -- with valves to be removed before cleaning and reassembled before use -- and diapers. Hooha!
9 years ago
1 comment:
I feel like I can always recognize when a phase bugs the crap out of me (and I complain constantly to friends and family. heh.), but as it slowly slips away, it only occurs to me much later, "Oh yeah, Jack doesn't throw food on the floor anymore or make a mess while he's eating. NO MORE BIB for the big kid!" I often forget to be happy about the things that are good, right now. With two, it's much easier to see the second kid rounding that corner into a good/bad stage and foresee the happpiness or hair pulling that will result. It's kind of refreshing to have perspective, but also, it just creates dread for those not-so-fun phases.
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